Snoring.  It’s funny…right?  It looks funny.  It for sure sounds funny!  Unless you’re trying to sleep at the time.

Just about every television comedy series has had at least one episode on snoring.  MASH; Mike and Molly; Seinfeld; Friends; I Love Lucy; etc.  On Modern Family, the incomparably gorgeous, Gloria, played by Sofia Vergara, snores so bad when she’s pregnant that her husband Jay pretends to go on a business trip just so he can stay at a local hotel and get some sleep!  (By the way, MANY if not most women will snore during their third trimester.)

You may have felt like Jay a few nights; or perhaps a few hundred nights.  Of course the more typical situation is that the man is snoring and the wife is either kept awake or just “lives with it.”

So we know that snoring and sleep apnea can greatly affect a person’s quality of sleep and their health overall, but what about the sleep and health of their bed partner?  If your bed partner snores could this actually screw up your sleep?  Is there such a thing as “second hand sleep apnea” (for those of you not familiar with the phrase “second hand smoke” this will not be nearly as funny.  To the rest of us it’s hilarious!).

A group of scientists, at least one of whom must have been sleeping with someone who snored, decided to test the hypothesis that snoring and sleep apnea could affect a bed partner’s sleep.  In 1999 a study was performed at the Mayo Clinic where they took 10 married couples and brought them in for a sleep study.  The man in each of these couples was suspected of having sleep apnea.  They wired up the snoring man AND the innocent bystander woman and studied both of them, while they slept…in the same bed of course.  What they found was more than a little surprising, and if you’re sleeping next to a snorer (or you are a snorer and are sleeping next to someone) you should take these results VERY seriously.

What they found was that the sleep of the wife was nearly as screwed up as the sleep of the sleep apneic, snoring husband!  Keep in mind that some of these couples had been together for over 20 years!  The scientists commented that these women had “been habituated” to the sound of the snoring for many years; meaning they were totally used to it.

Here’s the cool and exciting part.  Half way through the night they woke up the snoring guy and put him on CPAP, eliminating the snoring.  They then continued watching the couple sleep for the rest of the night.  They found a significant improvement in the quality of the man’s sleep, as would be expected with treatment of the sleep apnea.  However, they ALSO found a significant improvement in the quality of the woman’s sleep…by treating her husband’s sleep apnea!  They summarized their data by saying that treating the bed partner’s sleep apnea improved the quality of the spouse’s sleep so much, it was equivalent to getting AN EXTRA HOUR OF SLEEP A NIGHT!!!  What would you do for an extra hour of sleep a night??!! (Killing your bed partner is NOT necessary…they just need simple treatment!)

Now let’s take this a bit further.  I am not aware of scientific evidence to back this up, but let’s walk over to our common sense corner for a moment.  If a person’s sleep is being interrupted continuously by their bed partner’s snoring, night after night, what type of negative health consequences could that have?  While they wouldn’t have the decreased oxygen issues that sleep apnea typically has, they would tend to have decreased deep sleep and REM sleep.  If you do not have good quality deep sleep your body doesn’t heal as well, various hormones get screwed up (like ghrelin and leptin that are responsible for feeling hungry and feeling full…can you say “weight gain?!”), and you don’t feel physically rested.  If you don’t get enough REM sleep you may have memory or concentration issues and feel “mentally tired.”

In other words, if you are sleeping next to someone who snores and/or has sleep apnea, you could have many of the symptoms and problems of someone with sleep apnea, without actually having sleep apnea!  Indeed, you would have “second hand sleep apnea!”

So your options are to 1.  Get a non-snoring bed partner;  2.  Sleep in separate bedrooms (did you know that 30-40% of couples report sleeping in separate rooms!!);  3.  Wear really good ear plugs;  4.  Or get your bed partner diagnosed and treated.

Options 1-3 will help the non-snoring bed partner sleep better, but they won’t do anything for the sleep apneic.  If you are the non-snorer, hopefully you care enough about your bed partner to actually get them help!  If you are the snorer, hopefully you care enough about your bed partner to get yourself helped!

So the next time you hear someone talking about their snoring bed partner, and everyone is yucking it up sharing their own significant snorer stories, remember that second hand sleep apnea is no laughing matter, and both the snorer and their bed partner are suffering…needlessly.


When is ADHD not ADHD?  When the ADHD is actually a tired child.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD.  Most of us who grew up in the 80’s, 70’s or earlier have probably thought that ADHD was a made up problem.   When we were kids they didn’t say we had ADHD, they said we were “a spaz” or “high strung” or (if your parents were really supportive) “spirited.” Now it seems that thousands and thousands of children have been, and are being, diagnosed with  ADHD and put on medications like Ritalin and Adderall to manage it.

So let’s look at ADHD from a different perspective--a sleep perspective.

How does a young child, say between 2 and 8 years old, typically react to staying up way past their bedtime?  If you have children, or have been around younger children in such a scenario, you know the answer: they get “wired,” “cranky,” “hyper.”  I’ve seen young children become completely belligerent when they were tired and unable to communicate….literally going into a “temper tantrum.”

I have 6 children so believe me, I’m an expert in this area!

On several occasions (I’m a slow learner) I have experienced the trauma of a tired child, or tired children.  On one such occasion I was being “father of the year” and took my children to Disney World.  Well, after walking 50 miles, standing in lots of lines in the summer heat and humidity, and spending $258 on a lunch of Disney Burgers and Mickey Fries (so much more magical than regular burgers and fries), I decided that we just had to go and watch the fireworks…because the kids would enjoy it so much.  Since fireworks shows are traditionally performed in the dark, and in the summer the dark comes rather late at night, we stayed until quite late.  As expected, the fireworks were very cool and the kids really enjoyed them.
Then came the march back to the train, to take us to the bus, to take us to our car, so we could drive back to our condo.  My family performed this ritual with thousands of other families and I began to realize that all around me a similar phenomenon was taking place…  Whining.  Crying.  Complaining.  Not paying attention.  Not following directions (and nearly getting lost every couple of seconds).  I was surrounded by overly hyper children.

Now perhaps you could blame some of this behavior on the excitement of Disney, or the cotton candy and ice cream, or seeing Mickey and Minnie, but the bottom-line was that by the time we got to our car EVERY parent around wanted to kill at least a couple of their children!  (Obviously we all refrained…too many witnesses!)

When we finally got in our car and began our meandering way back to the condo, I was hit from behind with a chorus of  “he’s looking at me” and “she touched me”.  I must admit, the “father of the year” raised his voice (i.e. screamed) and threatened bodily harm, creating a whimpering back seat for a few seconds.  One more glance in my mirror…and they had all passed out!  When we got to the condo I had to carry them in and put them to bed--they were completely wiped out!

Every parent recognizes this story because we know this is what happens to a child when they’re TIRED.  I can’t tell you how many times my wife has counseled me, just before I was about to unleash my impatience on one of our children, “Jamison, [insert any of our 6 children’s names here] is just tired.”  Just tired?!  I certainly don’t act like a wild animal when I’m tired…but kids do.

So what does this have to do with ADHD?

Let’s think logically for a second.  What is the drug that doctors give children who are diagnosed with ADHD?  Ritalin.  The street name for Ritalin is “speed”.  Ritalin is a stimulant.
What?!  We give stimulants to HYPER kids?  Do we want to stimulate them even more??  Well, the doctors and drug companies will say that “the effect is paradoxical in children,” meaning they react in a way that isn’t expected…or basically have an opposite reaction.  So, instead of getting hyped up like an adult would, they get calmed down.  If you’ve ever known a child on Ritalin, and have seen them NOT on Ritalin, the difference is pretty amazing.

So here’s my point.

How does a child react to being tired?  They get hyper.

How does a hyper child react to taking speed?  They get calm.

In other words, if you give a TIRED child SPEED they act NORMAL!  

That sounds logical.  So if ADHD could actually be “tired child syndrome”, what could be making the child chronically tired?  Obstructive sleep apnea (i.e when a person stops breathing during sleep, causing their oxygen levels to drop and the brain to become oxygen deprived).
In children diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea the first line treatment is removal of the tonsils and adenoids.  Research has correlated a reduction in the symptoms of ADHD after tonsilectomy for sleep apnea.  In other words, if the sleep apnea is effectively treated, the ADHD goes away.

So maybe the child doesn’t have a “speed deficiency,”…maybe they’re tired.  Maybe they have sleep apnea.
And now it’s time for my blanket disclaimer:  NOT ALL ADHD IS THE RESULT OF UNTREATED SLEEP APNEA.  However, before MY child goes on SPEED, he or she is having a sleep study to rule out sleep apnea!!!

My own son’s story:

Jefferson was 6 years old and starting 1st grade.  He was excited to start a new school year.  Jefferson is an extremely friendly little boy who loves to interact with other children and try to make friends.  He had struggled a little bit in kindergarten though, and wasn’t reading very well yet.
After about a week, the principal called and wanted to talk to my wife and me.  We met with the principal and Jefferson’s teacher.  They told us that Jeff wasn’t performing at the level that he should be for a first grader and that they wanted to put him in a special program that they had…which was basically taking kindergarten over.

I left the meeting thinking, “so, my son isn’t keeping up with the other Harvard bound 1st graders, eh?!  Well maybe you teachers should work a little harder!  Maybe his kindergarten teacher sucked!  (And eventually) maybe we should have done more at home…”

As I was going through this thought process, thinking about Jefferson and his development, I realized a few things.  For one, he would wake up in the middle of the night, around 2:30am, and come into our bedroom…almost every night for years!  This caused some funny experiences when my wife and I were out of town, and we had someone else staying with the children and sleeping in our bed! (Jeff’s nighttime prowls were not affected in the slightest by who occupied our bed.)  Secondly, I realized that his first Kindergarten teacher had said Jeff seemed tired at school, and finally, I realized that in Church he would never sing the songs from memory like the other children would.

So I took a look at Jefferson’s teeth and found a little bit of wear on the edges of his front teeth.  I don’t ever remember hearing him snore or grind his teeth. While the signs and symptoms were subtle, I realized that MY OWN SON MIGHT HAVE SLEEP APNEA!!!  THE SON OF A GUY WHO LECTURES AROUND THE WORLD ON SLEEP APNEA!!!

Two nights later, Jefferson had a sleep study.  And guess what?  He had sleep apnea!  A couple of weeks later we had his tonsils and adenoids removed.  A couple of weeks later…he never woke up in the middle of the night again.  He started acting very differently--less hyper.  He started doing better in school.  He started to be able to remember things better.  He basically became a different, better, happier and healthier little boy.

If someone like me, who is involved every day with sleep and sleep apnea, can miss sleep apnea in HIS OWN CHILD, how many children are out there that have a problem that is being missed?  I believe the number is staggering…and frightening…and sad.

To put all of this in perspective, I have 6 children, and so far only one of them has had a sleep study.  3 of my six children have had “palatal expansion” with the orthodontist (and I believe my youngest child will too…so likely 4 of my 6 children will have this).  So bottom line, I’m not necessarily advocating that every child have a sleep study.

However, I AM saying that before MY child is put on “speed” they are going to have a sleep study!!  

Maybe you feel the same way about a child close to you.